Wednesday, January 30, 2013

24/30 {family dynamics}

Remember when I started this way back when. lol. I'm determined to finish it! 

24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.

I know I stopped at this one because I really wasn't sure what I should answer or how ... so I'm just going to type and whatever comes out, comes out. 

When I was a child it was me, my little brother, Mom and Dad. We lived in my Grandpa's house with him. There was a lot of yelling between my Dad and Grandpa. Both were alcoholics. Growing up I just thought that's how things were. You yelled, name called and slammed doors when you were mad. {that makes for some real "fun" when you are married and realized that's not how it should be} So life was pretty good though. So I thought. 

I was in 5th grade when my Mom left my dad. I remember that night. Mom was getting everything ready to leave while my dad was gone. My brother and I stood there clueless but had no choice. Then my Dad came home. He wasn't supposed to be yet. There was yelling and my mom left us because my Dad wouldn't let her take us. He said he could take one of us but not the other. My mom couldn't split us apart at a time like this so she just left. Oh boy, did that hurt. Here's where a lot of my issues with my dad come up. First, who would split up kids? I could never tell Conrad "You get Allyson but I get the other two!" I just can't wrap my head around his thinking. My mom didn't see us for some amount of time. In that time my dad would tell us things like "Your mom doesn't love you or else she would have came back for you guys." Who in the world tells this to a 5th and 2nd grader??? He was our Dad and at the time I didn't think that my own Dad could lie to me like that. 

One day while at school we got called up to the office. There was Mom coming to take us to her new place. I remember not waiting to go with her because I was so afraid that my Dad would get mad at me. I told her I couldn't go with her because I wasn't allowed to. She said "Heidi, I'm your mother still. You are coming with me!" 

Ok enough of that.

It got worked out. Went back and forth as we pleased from Mom and Dad's house. 
When I was in 7th grade my mom decided to move up to Modesto. {Really Mom? Modesto?} I stayed with my dad, even though I really didn't want to but I did NOT want to start in a new school. No friends. No thanks Mom! Half way through 7th grade, during Winter break came up to visit and didn't want to go back to my Dad's. So that's how I moved up here. 

My mom was pregnant with my sissy, Tess. My mom had been with my step-dad Tony for sometime.  She was still legally married to my dad. Step-dad was in prison. Lovely huh? Mom ended up having my sister Tess and another little girl Miss Kaylee. I struggled with my real Dad not talking to me. Nothing. It's like he wrote me off. My step dad in prison, then coming home and trying to be a father figure and I was a teenager and just wasn't having it. Years later SD and I got along. My brother had moved up here and magically my Dad would write him and call him. All the things I had longed for. My step dad did this and I could have cared less. My SD showed me unconditional love and I am forever grateful for that. It's one of the reasons I don't talk to my real dad because he was my real dad and didn't do those things. Now as a parent, I would want to do everything I could to talk to my kids. 

So now I have a SD that was in and out of prison. Half sisters who I never have considered "half" {ok maybe a few times. but hey that's just a sibling thing, right?} and my brother. 

Since being married my step-dad has passed away. My brother and I no longer talk. I still do not have a relationship with my dad. 

I have a relationship with Jesus and my oh my what a difference He has made in my life! 

I have one amazing husband who has helped shape me into the woman, wife and Mommy that I am today. I'm a Mommy to three gorgeous kids. I have ups and downs but I have Conrad right beside me. He supports and encourages me in so many ways. He has shown me what a marriage is suppose to look like. That's something that I really hope to show my kids. I want Aubrey and Allyson to know what a father's love feels like. That unconditional love. I want Conrad to show Austin how a husband treats his wife. {looking back I see the way my dad treated my mom. I don't blame her at all for leaving. I did back then} I want my children to see what a loving home and relationships look like. Life isn't perfect. I'm not claiming that it is because that's far from true. 

I know that this is a bunch of "stuff" thrown together. My childhood was rough but it's made me who I am today. 

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

10 months

1) How old is your baby?
10 months old

2) Stats
: 20 pounds even
Clothing size: 12 months some 12-18 months in there too

Diaper size: cloths on size medium
Hair: Blonde
Eyes: Blue

3) Are they

Teething: He has 4 teeth on top 2 bottom
Talking: Dada, bababa and not too often mama. He's will copy things you do. He coughs if you cough. You scream, he screams.
Rolling: he's a rolling machine.
Crawling: He's not crawling on all 4s and not really army crawling. He's kinda scooting around using his feet to push where he is wanting to go.
Walking: No way!

4) What they like

Toys: He has a remote control he LOVES
Books: Just about anything we read to the girls.
Song: Pat a cake. He claps his hands and smiles so big while we sing.
Anything else you want to add: He is just a big goof. He will smile for anyone. He's a pretty happy little guy

5) What they dislike: He doesn't really like to be alone. 

Ways they like to be soothed: The same rocking, shhh-ing and patting. He definitely knows when he wants his mommy.
6) How are they sleeping? Praise God he's sleeping pretty well. He'll go down around 7:30/8:00 and sleep until about midnight. Gets up another time or two then up like clock work at 6:30AM.
7) How are they feeding? He's pretty much given up nursing during the day. He gets a bottle before bed. (I think that's what has helped him sleep longer. He eats about 4-5 ounces and I think that is more than he was getting from nursing) He eats breakfast, lunch and dinner. It's a mix of pureed food and people food (as Aubrey calls it) 

8) Nicknames – Bubbas , bubby, Austin Boston (Aubrey) AJ and A3 in texts
9) What are you looking forward to the next month? His little personality is just coming out. He's such a cuddlebug. He's goofy. He loves his sisters. The bond that he has with Allyson just makes my heart happy.

10) How are you handling Motherhood?

Likes: I really love watching him grow. I love the connection that I have with him. That mother/son bond is just so special.

Dislikes: I miss that it's really going by so quickly.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

100 days of school

We did it. We both have survived 100 days of school. She hasn't missed a day or been late, yet. We've came close to being late.

Part of her homework this weekend was to bring in 100 items to school. We found some pink marshmallows that were left over from Christmas. 

Aubrey was quite the stinker Tuesday morning. She cried that the sun was in her eyes. It's too cold out here for pictures. It was cold but come on Aubrey, she was just a mess! Thankfully she pulled it together before dropping her off at school.

She came home with a necklace that had 100 pieces of fruit loops on it. They counted 100 pennies. They took 100 steps. She didn't really tell me much else. The not remembering is becoming more of a trend lately. She makes me pry it out of her. I'm totally dreading the teen years. She's going to be a bunch of emotional fun!

Monday, January 21, 2013


So I haven't been a very good blogger. I'm just in some kind of funk. I can't shake it. So this is me trying to shake it.

Since I don't have anything really to write about here's just my random thoughts :)

Austin will be 10 months tomorrow. TEN months.

I've breast fed him for ten months. The longest of any of my kids. I'm really hoping to get to my goal of a year but he's been acting kind of funny with nursing so I'm not sure that  will happen.

My first nephew was born on Saturday!! He's so teeny tiny. I had a major anxiety/panic attack at the hospital. I feel so silly writing about it but yet freeing at the same time.

Tomorrow is 100 days of school for Aubrey. Her teacher has some fun stuff planned. I can't wait to hear how her day goes.

I've actually started really really playing around with my camera and it's all thanks to my friend Christen. She has the cutest little guy, Dax. We are doing a 12 week to better photos course. Hopefully I'll stop being a lame student and get my pics uploaded soon. Sorry teacher :)

And yea ... that's it. Babies getting to big, me struggling emotionally, school and learning to use my camera. YAY 2013!

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Christmas 2012

What a morning we had!

Austin and Allyson were up early. My usual early riser ... was sleeping. Conrad had a headache so he said to wake him up when Aubrey woke up. I was out here with Austin, Allyson and my sisters and we were all DYING to open these gifts! I couldn't stand it any more and went in at 7:00 and woke Aubrey up. Can you really blame me??

We opened up our stockings and Allyson wanted nothing to do that and asked to have some cereal. So she happily sat at the table eating her Cheerios while we opened up our stockings. Santa brought Austin some new binkys. Aubrey got a ton of candy and Allyson got a flashlight and some random things.

We opened up gifts youngest to oldest. Aubrey was so patient. Waiting while we took a million pictures of Austin shaking, banging and chewing on his gift. She waited while Allyson refused to open her gifts and went into her room to pout. Who is this girl?? What girl doesn't like to open up presents?? Aubrey had fun helping her baby brother and sister open their presents. Both girls helped clean up the giant paper mess. They enjoyed their new gifts. Austin just loved the excitement, the lights and he just looked like he enjoyed all of us together.

We headed off to Kathy's for bunch. Conrad's head was still bothering him so he laid down for a bit. He ended up sleeping for a while and his head felt a little bit better. FInished up opening presents with everyone. Watched the kids run around screaming with excitement. Conrad went upstairs and napped with Allyson. I napped for a bit with Austin. We enjoyed dinner and dessert. We played Catch Phrase while the girls watched Veggie Tales. Christmas had it's bumps but it was a nice day with family.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Christmas Eve 2012

Sheesh I have all these pictures that need to be posted from Christmas Eve and Christmas. C'mon Heidi get your ducks in a row! 

Christmas Eve morning we went to Conrad's Dad's house. We celebrate Christmas with everyone. 
We tried to take pictures of the kids with the grandparents and my sweet little Allyson didn't want to look at the camera. You are surprised aren't you?? Papa even tried to get Bailey in the picture to try to get a nice picture. Silly Papa!! 

We opened up our new Christmas jammies

We had famliy over for dinner and had yummy Chicken tortilla soup. We played games. The kids ran around the house while the grown ups played. It was just perfect. It was crazy loud. Kids and adults. It was perfect just like you expect Christmas Eve to be. 

We put reindeer food out for Santa's reindeer. 

Cookies and milk out for Santa. 

When we put Allyson to bed we read the Christmas story out of the children's bible with her and put her to sleep. 

Then we read the story of Jesus' birth again out of my bible with Aubrey and Austin in the living room. Aubrey listened and after we asked her what she thought about it. She said it's so weird how long that one is! :) 

After the babes went to bed it was time to get wrapping. I always wait until Christmas Eve to wrap. I love and hate it at the same time. It's so fun but oh man such pressure. This year I stayed up wrapping until midnight. I ran out of tape. Who does that?? I thought I had enough but nope. Off to Walgreens I went. Later I found out that I would have had enough tape but my love little sisters use entirely TOO much tape when they wrap. Silly girls!! 

Well nap time is over. I can hear the little ones calling me. 

 Hopefully I'll get my Christmas post up soon. 

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Year in Review

How is the end of 2012 already here?? Time is just flying by.
I wanted to go back and recap from the last year. I know I don't have a super exciting life so bare with me.

I was trying to survive life being ginormously pregnant. We did lots of playing and you better believe I napped every chance I got. Gosh I miss naps!

Gigi was here to ring in the new year too!

I really really thought that this was the month that I'd have Austin. I don't know what I was thinking apparently my belly is comfy and my babies don't like to come before their due dates. 

I made some cute Valentine bags for the kitchen chairs. Each day I put a note or a little something in there for Aubrey. Allyson was too little to understand. Aubrey had a lot of fun waking up and checking her bag.

Conrad and I celebrated 7 years of marriage.

My sweet little Austin joined us. It was a bit of a rough start but he has been worth every single second.


We celebrated our first Easter as a family of 5. We watched Allyson slowly change from being the baby of the family to the BIG sister. She started talking a little bit more.
Holding his hand

We celebrated Conrad getting his bachelor's degree. So proud of my husband. It's been a long road for him and for me. After he joked about going for his Masters. I would totally support him but it really wasn't that funny!  I'm so excited to start a new chapter in our lives.
So proud of you Conrad!

My baby turned 5!! She got her ears pierced, chewed her first piece of bubble gum and got to ride a bus. All things I told her she could once she was five. 

We went to the Fourth of July Parade!

Conrad had a birthday!

Conrad and Aubrey went camping and I got to stay home with the little ones. Aubrey had a blast.

We just enjoyed the last month of summer before school started. 


Aubrey started kindergarten. What an emotion week that was. I was watching my baby grow up right before my eyes. I was so sad she'd be away from me. She's been my buddy these last 5 years. She has helped me with Allyson and Austin and now she was off to school to learn. I was happy for her too. Thinking of all the fun things she'd do. Friends and field trips. Learning and growing. Ugh ... I'm feeling emotional just typing this again!! Moving on! 

We have settled into a semi-routine with Aubrey's drop off and pick ups and rearranging Austin's morning nap. We seem to have it figured out for the moment. We walk to school in the mornings and drive to pick her up. Lunch and then nap time. Home then lunch time and naps.

Jess she's wearing a school shirt ;) 

Sickness hit the Paulsen house. It seems like we were sick all month except for Aubrey, she escaped it. Allyson got the worst of it. She started the month with the sickness then Austin and I got sick. Conrad got a touch of it. Allyson got sick again. In between that we did get to the pumpkin patch and had a great time doing that. Aubrey went on her first field trip to the pumpkin patch. Mommy was nervous but we all survived! We ended the month healthy, just in time for Halloween and someone's birthday!

 Our littlest lady turned TWO! I can't believe it! She seems like she's grown like crazy. Talking, screaming and then being oh so cute. She's definitely the middle child and a girl.

This month has just whizzed past me. We did read a Christmas book each night, started Elf of the Shelf, drove around looking at Christmas lights,  and celebrated Jesus' birth. It was Austin's first Christmas!

Conrad was promoted at work. Praise God! 

This year had it's ups and downs.

 I cannot wait to see what 2013 holds for us. 

Happy New Year friends!